I remember talking with a friend who was struggling in his marriage. The problems had been going on a long time, and he was starting to feel hopeless about his situation.
“Have you talked to her about it?” I asked.
“Sort of,” he replied. They had talked about their issues a little bit. Occasionally he had brought up a part of what he was frustrated about. They had talked about going to counseling. But he had never actually sat down with her and shared his full truth about how he was feeling.
Sharing your full truth can be really scary. It can be uncomfortable. It can make someone else feel bad. It can cause conflict. In the case of my friend, he was worried that his spouse wouldn’t be able to handle his full truth. He was worried that sharing his full truth might lead to the dissolution of their relationship, or his partner having a breakdown.
Despite all these fears, I think it’s important to share your full truth (even when it is difficult). Here’s why:
- Sharing your full truth allows you to live a life of integrity. When we don’t share our full truth, our life is fragmented. We think or feel one way, but our behavior or interactions don’t line up. We are incongruent. This is a difficult and unhealthy way to live. It’s better to have our inner and outer worlds match.
- Sharing your full truth allows you to address the problem. If you don’t share your full truth, it’s difficult to actually address the underlying issue or problem, because you aren’t talking about it. It’s not out in the open. Once you begin sharing your truth, you can put the problem out on the table and examine it. You can see if anything can be done about it. You can go to counseling. You can start taking steps to address the problem and work it out.
- Sharing your full truth stimulates growth in all parties. It is difficult and anxiety provoking to share your full truth. Stepping into this will lead to personal growth. Also, sharing your full truth forces the person you are in relationship with to examine the issue also. If they are willing, this will lead to personal growth for them as well. Growing is a good thing.
Discussion: Do you tend to share your full truth, even when it is difficult? Or do you hold back? What is one step you could take toward being honest with those around you and sharing your full truth?