Being Present Reduces Fear

I’m getting married in a couple months, and as part of our premarital counseling, our counselor assigned us a book to read, called Saying What’s Real: 7 Keys to Authentic Communication and Relationship Success by Susan Campbell. One of the key points in the book is the encouragement to stay present with your partner—to share your feelings, wants, frustrations, and appreciations of your partner right in the moment.

There are several benefits to staying present with your partner, but one of the coolest benefits is that staying present reduces your fear and anxiety. The reason for this is that fear and anxiety are about the future. You are worrying about what might happen—tomorrow, next week, next year.

When you are present, on the other hand, you are in the here and now. You are dealing with what is. You are fully engaged in what is happening at the moment. You are feeling or expressing your emotions. You are engaged in dialogue. You are working to solve a problem. When you are present, you don’t have the time and energy to get ahead of yourself into the “what-ifs.”

If you are struggling with anxiety or fear today, press pause and take some time to focus on being present. Center yourself, and focus on your breath. Take a few deep breaths and focus on what you are experiencing in your body. Then focus your energy on what you need to do right at this current moment. Once that is completed, move on to the next moment. And then the next one. Stick with the present, and you might find that your fear and anxiety fall by the wayside.