We often have a lot judgments about other people in our lives. It seems as if we are the experts on what other people should and shouldn’t be doing. It’s easy to watch how someone lives their life from the outside and think about all the things they need to change.
It’s not so easy to change ourselves.
Interestingly, we tend to reserve our harshest judgments for the things we struggle with ourselves. If we see someone doing something, and it doesn’t tap into something we are struggling with, it’s easy to let it go. But if it hits close to home, we tend to lash out. Better to have the focus be on someone else than to do the hard work of changing ourselves.
Do Your Own Work
But if we want to live a life of peace, we need to be focused on ourselves and doing our own work. When you make a judgment about someone else, ask yourself: “How might this judgment be about me? What is my work to do? Can I take the medicine I prescribe for others?”
If we are relentless about asking these questions, we will realize that changing a behavior is not that easy. It’s not easy to break a bad habit. It’s not easy to lose weight. It’s not easy to love our neighbor. Life is hard. Most of us are doing the best we can with what we have.
Refocus Your Energy
Refocusing your energy to yourself and your own work also gives you something positive to do with your energy. It is impossible to force someone else to change. It just doesn’t work. However, we have great power to change ourselves. Keep your energy and attention focused on where it can do some good.